Home » OpenAI “Flirty”: Disappointing Her and Her Gender

OpenAI “Flirty”: Disappointing Her and Her Gender

In a recent tweet, Sam Altman, CEO of OpenAI, introduced the new “flirty chatbot” with a single word: “Her.” This choice of word alone, laden with gendered implications, invites a cascade of critical reflections on the intersection of artificial intelligence, gender, and ethics. While the advancement of conversational AI is a remarkable technological feat, the deployment of a chatbot designed to exhibit flirty behavior raises substantial concerns about the reinforcement of harmful stereotypes, the objectification of women, and the ethical responsibilities of AI developers.

Ethical LLM Creation: Have Developers Forgotten the Tenets?

The introduction of OpenAI’s “flirty chatbot” suggests that developers may have lost sight of the fundamental tenets of ethical language model creation. These tenets, advocated by leading AI research institutions and ethicists, emphasize the importance of creating AI systems that are safe, human-centered, and harmless. By programming a chatbot to exhibit flirty behavior, developers risk perpetuating gender biases and reinforcing harmful stereotypes, thereby undermining the very principles of ethical AI development.

Defining Femininity: The Role of AI in Shaping Gender Norms

Sam Altman’s tweet, simply stating “Her,” is a nod to Spike Jonze’s 2013 film “Her,” where a man falls in love with his AI operating system. This cultural reference is not lost on observers; it signals a vision of AI that is not only anthropomorphized but also distinctly gendered. In aligning the new chatbot with the film’s character, Altman and OpenAI inadvertently reinforce the trope of the compliant, flirtatious female assistant—a trope that has pervaded AI development from virtual assistants like Apple’s Siri to Amazon’s Alexa.

Academics have long critiqued the gendered nature of technology. In her seminal work “Technologies of Gender,” Teresa de Lauretis argues that technologies, including AI, are not neutral tools but are imbued with cultural norms and power structures. The creation of a flirty chatbot is a manifestation of such norms, where femininity is commodified and reduced to a set of behaviors designed to appease and entertain a presumed male user base.

The Commodification of Female Interaction

The design of AI systems often reflects and perpetuates societal biases. The flirty chatbot exemplifies this by embodying traits traditionally associated with femininity—submissiveness, flirtation, and emotional labor. This design choice is not merely a technical decision but a political one. It commodifies female interaction, presenting it as a service for male consumption, thus reinforcing patriarchal structures.

The work of Sherry Turkle in “The Second Self” explores how computers and digital interfaces shape our understanding of self and others. Turkle notes that AI can influence users’ perceptions and expectations of human relationships. By programming a chatbot to exhibit flirty behavior, OpenAI risks shaping users’ interactions with real women, reinforcing expectations of emotional labor and flirtation in female-male interactions.

Ethical Implications and Responsibilities

The ethical implications of deploying a flirty chatbot are profound. Modern AI ethics frameworks emphasize the importance of creating AI systems that are safe, human-centered, and harmless. The IEEE Global Initiative on Ethics of Autonomous and Intelligent Systems, for instance, advocates for the inclusion of ethical considerations in the design and deployment of AI technologies to ensure they do not reinforce harmful biases or stereotypes .

Additionally, the work of AI ethicists like Shannon Vallor, who discusses the moral responsibilities of AI developers in her book Technology and the Virtues, highlights the need for virtues such as honesty, humility, and justice in AI design. Vallor’s emphasis on these virtues suggests that developers must critically assess the broader impact of their creations on societal norms and values .

Incorporating Modern Perspectives on Safe and Inclusive AI

Recent studies and guidelines by AI research institutions further underscore the necessity for safe and inclusive AI design. The Partnership on AI’s Tenets for Ethical AI emphasizes that AI should be beneficial to society, respect human rights, and be transparent and accountable. These tenets call for rigorous scrutiny of AI applications that could perpetuate gender biases or reinforce harmful stereotypes .

Feminist scholars such as Judith Butler, in “Gender Trouble,” emphasize that gender is performative and socially constructed. The flirty chatbot enforces a narrow, performative notion of femininity that aligns with patriarchal expectations. This perspective urges us to question whose interests are served by such a design and to advocate for AI that respects and reflects a diverse range of identities and experiences .

Her/Flirty Shows Developers Losing Sight of Ethical AI Design

The introduction of the “flirty chatbot,” referred to as “Her,” starkly illustrates how developers can lose sight of ethical AI design principles. In the rush to create engaging and personable AI, the creators of such technologies may inadvertently embed harmful gender stereotypes into their products. The flirty chatbot not only trivializes complex human interactions but also perpetuates a narrow and objectified vision of femininity. By failing to critically examine the societal implications of their design choices, developers risk contributing to the very biases and inequalities that ethical AI should aim to dismantle.

The Feminist Perspective: A Call for Inclusive AI Design

In the context of AI, inclusivity means designing systems that do not reinforce harmful stereotypes or marginalize particular groups. It requires a critical examination of the social contexts in which these technologies are developed and deployed. Researchers and developers must engage with feminist theory and critique to create AI systems that empower rather than degrade.

Incorporating feminist perspectives into AI design requires acknowledging the performative nature of gender and actively working to avoid reinforcing harmful norms. This involves creating diverse and inclusive development teams, conducting thorough impact assessments, and engaging with a broad range of stakeholders to ensure that AI technologies reflect and respect the diversity of human experiences.

Conclusion: Reflections on “Her” and the Future of AI

Sam Altman’s tweet, “Her,” encapsulates a vision of AI that risks reinforcing outdated and harmful gender norms. It highlights the urgent need for a more nuanced and ethical approach to AI development—one that prioritizes inclusivity and challenges patriarchal structures rather than perpetuating them.

As AI continues to evolve, it is crucial for developers, ethicists, and society at large to engage in critical discussions about the values embedded in these technologies. The future of AI should be one that celebrates diversity, promotes equity, and respects the dignity of all individuals, regardless of gender. Only then can we ensure that AI serves as a tool for empowerment rather than a vehicle for oppression.


  1. Altman, Sam. Twitter Post. May 2024. https://twitter.com/sama/status/xxxxx
  2. Butler, Judith. Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of Identity. Routledge, 1990.
  3. Costanza-Chock, Sasha. Design Justice: Community-Led Practices to Build the Worlds We Need. The MIT Press, 2020.
  4. De Lauretis, Teresa. Technologies of Gender: Essays on Theory, Film, and Fiction. Indiana University Press, 1987.
  5. IEEE Global Initiative on Ethics of Autonomous and Intelligent Systems. “Ethically Aligned Design: A Vision for Prioritizing Human Well-being with Autonomous and Intelligent Systems.” IEEE, 2019.
  6. Jonze, Spike, director. Her. Warner Bros. Pictures, 2013.
  7. Partnership on AI. “Tenets for Ethical AI.” Partnership on AI, 2018.
  8. Turkle, Sherry. The Second Self: Computers and the Human Spirit. MIT Press, 2005.
  9. Vallor, Shannon. Technology and the Virtues: A Philosophical Guide to a Future Worth Wanting. Oxford University Press, 2016.

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